Who are you?

I have forgotten who I am. Does that ever happen to you? You read an old journal. Or an old blog and realize somewhere between then and now you have lost yourself? You stopped being the fun mom you once were... You stopped running after Jesus and started running after kids. Not intentionally, but one day things just changed. I'm there. I'm that. I'm lost. I'm drowning. I praise God that I there is no where that I can go and escape Him (Ps. 139). When I have lost myself, He knows just where to find me. A lot has changed since the last, oh, four years. So. Without further adieu...

Who am I, now? 

I am no one.

And I don't mean that in a negative self image kind of way. I am just me. No one special. I'm not famous nor have any desire to be.



I am not a writer. I do not have a way with words. But I do enjoy typing so there's always that.



I am a Daughter of The King. So I guess technically that makes me a Princess. Yes, yes. One of those.



I'm just a wife. Albeit a military wife. And yes there is a difference.



I am a mom to four. But where the last 2 came from, I'm not entirely sure. I just kind of blinked and then there were 4 little people calling me "Mommy." I keep answering so they keep calling, and I keep feeding them so they stick around.



I am a scratch cook, if there is such a term and if not, then I am an innovator too.



I am a homeschool teacher. Because being a mom wasn't hard enough.



I am not a true Southerner. There I said it. And I do hate saying that. The truth is, I was born a Yankee. But butter flows through my veins like any true Southern woman so I'll keep working on my accent and Southern graces, ok?



I wear leggings as pants. Yes I do and here's why.... I'm a stay at home mom and if my leggings are clean enough to run to Kroger then I'm doing it. I refuse to even take a chance on getting my jeans dirty and making more laundry for myself. And if you see me wearing a sweatshirt, there's like a 98% chance I'm not wearing an actual shirt under it for the same reason. If I'm putting on jeans then I will probably need to shower first, and if I take a shower then some sort of hair brushing and bun making are going to follow and maybe, just maybe a dab of makeup and if I'm going to all that effort I might as well head to church or somewhere that people will actually know me. Right? Right. But I digress.



I am a runner. A new runner. Like past the "I hate this, why am I doing this to myself? Let me just go eat some butter..." phase. And in the "I'm just gonna walk today... this is boring... I should just run" Then do. This is a new thing. It didn't happen over night. Or over a week. It's something new to me and right now I'm all about the new.



I am a book eater. I love, love, love to read. I would read all day long if I didn't have a bunch of other stuff to do... And even then if I can't put a book down I blow off all my responsibilities and just read. I can even cook dinner and read at the same time. I'm obviously talented. And modest.



So who I am? Only God really knows. I'm (obviously) still working on this one. I'm just another woman in the crowd. Lost in her own thoughts, searching for the peanut butter in the fridge. Wondering if the day in and the day out of wife-ing, mom-ing and all the in between-ing really, truly matters and how to navigate this wild life of enjoying every MOMent.